From Fear to Fabulous!

I am here to make a difference! If you have been following me you know I am on a journey. My journey to being self employed also allows me to pass my gifts to a much larger number of people than I ever could working as a therapist. What started out as a journey for me has turned into a movement to eradicate self esteem problems! If you feel stuck do to fear you are in the right place. My goal is to get you moving. Even a small amount of movement forward can make you feel fabulous! The cool thing is once the ball starts rolling momentum takes over and what seemed like a dream can become a reality sometimes over night!

How do I know this? Because I have lived it! I have come a long way! I won't get into my life story again. Previous blogs have covered bits and pieces. I recently did a Facebook live where I went through this in detail.  If you missed it feel free to check it out here.  https://www.facebook.com/minasselfesteembuilder/videos/841315592670659/ 

One of the things that Facebook has done recently is that they want to make sure a business provides relevant information to the customer. From this I have been on a mission to find out what you want and provide that content to you. What I have come to find out is that the best way to do that is to provide you with content that means something to me because I am you! Yes I am just like you and my goal is to get you to stop being complacent with the status quo and actively make shifts that will move you out of fear and build momentum for you to create any future you want! 

Did you know you have a choice about your future? Did you know you are not destined to be where you are right now mentally or physically forever? I didn't know it at the beginning. If you do know this already you are way ahead of many other people including myself prior to beginning my journey to be a coach.  

Fear kept me stuck in the same place for many years. Have you ever heard the definition of insanity? The definition is doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to be different. I did this for many years in my relationships and in my professional life. Do you want to know what got me unstuck? Learning how to control my fear and use it as a motivator to get out of complacency! 

This is what I want to bring to you with this FREE Tele-Seminar From Fear to Fabulous! I have set the date in September and will announce that to my email list this week. I will be providing the call information to my email subscribers only. That is the only way I can guarantee that the information will get to you. Just being a fan of my Facebook page is not enough. On an average day only 2-5% of my fan base will see what I post due to the way Facebook manages your newsfeed (you can increase your chances of seeing things regularly by liking and sharing the content. This tells Facebook that you want to see more). The easiest way to see the daily quotes and any new information on my events is to become a part of my email list! I share the same daily quotes along with reminders and information about events. Please subscribe here to guarantee access to the daily quotes and information.  http://bit.ly/2cjPmUH

My new program From Fear to Fabulous is a direct result of me making sure I know what kind of content you want and bringing it to you regularly. I hear the pain from being stuck and unable to move out of your current reality! This pain comes directly from fear which if used properly can fuel your journey to momentum as you begin to create the future you want! 

I can't wait to bring this to you! This FREE content is my way of saying thanks for the love and support you have given me along my journey. It is my turn to give back! Please sign up here for information on this and other events!  http://bit.ly/2cjPmUH

Love and Light, 

Mina

The introvert and loneliness

What does loneliness mean to you? It's a simple question that seems easy to answer but did you know that loneliness is different for different people? For me loneliness happens when I allow myself to isolate from others for long periods of time.  

THE INTROVERT  

Yes I am an introvert! What does that mean exactly? That means that I can be alone for long periods of time without a single twinge of loneliness. When I am by myself I recharge my batteries. If I know I will be going to a function with a lot of people I have to mentally prepare myself to engage in conversation or small talk. I feel emotionally drained at the end and must recharge which comes by solitude. To some of you this may sound backwards. My loneliness comes from my own desire to isolate and not engage in friendships or make excuses to not go to social functions because it is easier.  

I have learned that I am the only one who can break that cycle and here is what has worked for me.  

1. I ask myself what I want when it comes to relationships? Do I want a significant other in my life? Do I want to have long term friendships? Do I want close relationships with family? If the answer is yes to any of these questions then I go to the next question.  
2. What am I willing to do to make this happen? Is this relationship important enough to me to make the effort to get out of my comfort zone to make it work? Am I expecting others to come to me and not making an effort to go to them?  
3. How can I get past my fear of getting out there? What can I do to expand my ability to sustain relationships? This is where the real miracle comes! I become willing to seek outside help so that I can create long lasting relationships! 

I have worked for years as a therapist and helped others identify this as the problem. It was not until I got into coaching that I found a real solution! The solution comes in the form of processes that helped me to expand my mind and willingness to identify what I want.  I then allow the Universe to give me exactly what I ask for when I become willing to look at the part my own thinking comes in creating my own reality.  I have to make the decision to make my life better!

As you may or may not know I recently became engaged after years of dead end relationships. I am convinced that the Universe brought him to me only when I was ready to do the work needed to help the relationship expand. We met just prior to me taking the step to become a certified coach.  I was able to attract a healthy long term partnership after being single for 15 years. (For info on my first marriage and how I was effected look at the  three blog posts "My loved one is addicted") .

I am beginning to realise that in my desire to become a coach what I am really doing is starting a movement to help others that want to make a shift learn how to go about it.  

If any of this resonates with you please leave a comment or share with your friends. The answer to all the questions around loneliness for the introvert has an answer. In my next blog I will do my best to look at loneliness for the extrovert. This is much more difficult because I have never personally experienced this but don't fret extroverts I will be gaining insight on this from other coaches and bring you answers next month!

If you are curious about coaching but not sure if it's for you. Please contact me for an initial Energy Healing session at my expense! Mina@minasselfesteembuilder.com  

I am telling my story and would love to know yours! Don't let another minute go by feeling lonely!! 

FIND YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE

I can't believe it is almost here. My first official public webinar. Talk about having to find my self confidence! This is a huge deal for me! Why? Because I am so nervous but at the same time so excited to be going public! 

Have you been following me for a while? If you have then you know that this is the first of its kind. Why has it taken me so long? Believe it or not because of a lack of self confidence. It was not until I heard a mentor say that I was doing a disservice to all of my loyal followers not to provide a bigger way to spread my message than just one on one!! This information is way too important to keep to myself!  

I am going to blow the surprise of part of the webinar by saying at some point you have to tell the monkey brain to shut up and do whatever it is anyway because the fear of doing it is way worse than the actual act itself. So that is what I have done. My secret is out! This is my first and I am ready to tackle it head on! 

What is the monkey mind you ask? Oh it's that chatter that says I am not good enough or no one will want to hear what I have to say. It goes on 24/7 and at times I just have to tell it that I am not going to listen and do it anyway!  

I have a duty to get my message out! For all of you that hear that monkey mind 24/7 there are ways to quiet it long enough to have ideas come to you and go for the gusto! 

I want to personally invite everyone who wants to get past that monkey mind and get out of the safe box that is holding you back to please purchase your ticket and enter your registration information so you will receive the call details.  Http://www.Mylanderpages.com/SelfEsteemBuilder/Find-Your-Self-Confidence

I cant wait to meet everyone and share this life changing moment with you! We are going to learn together how to FIND YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE and I am going to lead you by example! 

JUNE 26,2016 

2pm central time ( if you have a question about what time that is for you just ask) 

In your favorite chair with your most relaxing things around you we will walk this journey together! 

I can't wait to meet you! See you there! 

My loved one is addicted part 2

How do you know what your life purpose is? Can you use your experiences to heal others and yourself? As you know I recently became certified as a law of attraction coach. Now that I have the training I must take my experiences, make sense of them and share them with others as a way to make those experiences count. If you have not read my previous blog post please do so now. 

My initial training is in social work. I have spent the last 26 years working in mental health specifically and at least half of that time working with substance abusers.  The other half of the time I spent working with our mentally ill consumers. 

As I wrote in my last blog while working in our SA programs my husband who was initially in recovery moved into relapse. I could spend a bunch of time trashing him or sharing war stories but this blog is about me and my recovery. The first major point I want to make is 1. Trashing the alcoholic/addict especially in public or in front of family/children only makes matters worse. My oldest daughter was 4 when the addiction came out. She is now 21 and told me recently that her first memory was of me throwing her dad out of the house. Although now she understands our relationship was forever changed. 

To say my oldest was oppositional was an understatement. Every encounter with her seemed like war. She once threw her mattress across the room. As I said before this is not about them it is about me. I became depressed. I was working, trying to raise a very angry daughter and grieving the loss of the future I thought our family was going to have. The second big thing I need to share is that the anger is only in small part about the actions/inactions of the alcoholic/addict. 2. The anger at my husband was not from his actions as much as the loss of the dream I had about our future. My expectations created the ongoing pain and resentment I was feeling. The importance of this point is astronomical! Only when I got to the point that I could see that was I in a position to begin healing. 

I know what you are thinking because I thought this too. "I am not the problem he/she is the problem. If they would get sober then things would be okay". This leads me to the third major point. 3. My pain is only going to go away when I make the decision to work on myself. Sobriety is not the key to happiness. Even if the blessing of sobriety comes to your house there are still unresolved hurts and anger that must be dealt with on all sides for full family healing to take place. That being said sobriety does not come to every household. So what does that mean? 4. Sobriety is not essential for the family members to begin the healing process. If you are like me this really pisses you off because it did me. They can just check out on life and their responsibilities while I have to do all this hard work on myself to help myself and my children/grandchildren (One thing I learned from my work is that there are now many grandparents that are raising their grandchildren due to the addiction of their grown child). 

Although the loved one could be a parent, child, spouse or other significant person in your life the road to your healing is the same. For me initially my healing came from Al-anon meetings. I did not learn about coaching until many years later. I still go to meetings weekly as a way to keep focus. If I had not found this program and continued to use it I would have completely lost it.  

My journey did not end with my husband going to treatment. How could I go back to work dealing with addiction all day long? How was I going to reconnect with my oldest daughter who was out of control angry at me and not her dad (that part really sucked)? There will be more of my story in my next post.  

Are you hurting? Would you like to begin the healing process? Please contact me! I can help you begin the healing process right away or help you get to the place where you feel confident to start meetings.  

If you want to connect with like minded people please join my new Facebook page  https://www.facebook.com/Mylovedoneisaddicted/

Are you an enabler? Enabling extends the addiction and makes using comfortable or easy which delays the recovery process for your loved one.  

My Loved One is Addicted

What do you do when the Universe is pushing you to share your experience, strength and hope but the story is so personal that writing it down for others to read is painful? That is the position I have found myself in recently as a newly certified coach. I have come to realize that my story is important to who I am and that if you are going to trust me to help you with your journey my journey should be made public.  

One of the things I was taught this past year is that "what you resist persists".  In law of attraction terms what you focus on expands and if you have resistance around something then it will continue to hang around until it is dealt with.  

My self esteem issues started young and primarily centered around weight issues. I grew up in a family riddled with alcoholism on both sides but recovery entered my home when I was young thankfully. My grandparents lived in Akron,Ohio which is the Mecha for Alcoholics Anonymous and as the story goes the program was birthed there in the carriage house of what later became Stan Hewitt Hall. Multiple family members were in the program and I was around the program as a young child. My focus, however, was drinking cokes out of bottles and eating cake at the end.  Little did I know these experiences would foreshadow my personal and professional journey. 

Jump ahead to college and graduate school where my self esteem issues were a problem and my behavior although not much different than most college students was causing me problems.  I socialized with very few people and when I did I partied hard. While in graduate school for Social Work a close friend of mine went to treatment and I was devastated. Not only was I devastated but I was lost. How could my social life be tied completely to only one person? I was advised by my mother of all people to go to Al-Anon. This program has brought me more peace and understanding than I could have ever hoped for.  Al-Anon is a 12 step program for family and friends of alcoholics. I have since been attending for over 25 years and the tools I was taught helped me through every area of my life.

Now back to spring of 1989 I began attending the meetings, started feeling stronger and happier. In those meetings I was also introduced to a very handsome and charming (they are all very charming at the beginning) blonde haired and blue eyed recovering addict/alcoholic that I later married.   Are you beginning to see where I am going with this?

I began my job at the local mental health center and found myself working in the substance abuse division due to my extensive understanding of 12-step programs. I ran groups, did assessments, coordinated an inpatient program for women and as the job description reads "any other duties as assigned". Little did I know that as I worked day in and day out with addicts and alcoholics my life was about to take a devastating turn. Right under my trained nose my husband was in full relapse and I had no idea. 

In the next few blog posts I will share with you my experience with addiction. How it devastated me personally and professionally. How addiction effected my marriage and my children. How I eventually found my life again and how I now have the experience to help others with similar issues through my coaching programs. This is a series you will not want to miss. These blogs will be difficult and emotional for me to write but for me to help you I must lay it all out to show you that there is hope and that the Universe has your back in all the dark times. I wish I had these coaching tools along with my support groups back then. I know my journey would have been easier.  

Has your life been affected by someone else's addiction? If so I want to invite you to join my new Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/Mylovedoneisaddicted/

You don't have to go through this journey alone!! Are you ready to heal? 

This is how it started for me.......

I was asked a question on my Facebook page the other day. I was expressing gratitude for my recent certification as a law of attraction coach. I was sharing my win as we were taught in class. Among the congrats by those on my Facebook page came the question "so what does that mean for me?" Hmm I was so busy feeling gratitude that the question took me back.  

I replied with the fact that after a year of skills training I would be able to share with my client's amazing processes which would help them shift to a better place. I also shared that a personal win no matter how big or small is something to be celebrated. She boasted that she had "great self esteem" and that she felt no need to share her wins with "total strangers". "That is why I have real friends."

I must confess that my first thought was "if you don't like it get off my post". I have learned over the years to act and not react. I began thinking to myself what was it about having a negative interaction that touched me so? I have come to the conclusion that in my desire to help others what I do is not for everyone.  That is okay too. I don't have to feel personally slighted if someone disagrees. 

I then began thinking globally about self esteem and feeling attacked when others don't agree with me. How many times have you had what you thought was a great idea only to have someone close to you or a total stranger come at you with negativity? I must admit dealing with others negativity about my actions has never been easy for me. I always felt personally attacked even if they were trying to be professional (I do have a day job).  

I know within myself that self esteem has always been an issue. It evolved from weight issues as a child to relationship issues as an adult. The one common thread is much of the time I did not feel good enough for success in all areas so I settled for what I thought I could get. With that I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop. It was not until I began to learn to look for what was "right" in my life rather than what was "wrong" did I start to have courage to try new things.  

The incident the other day,however, reminds me that I am still human. Inside that little girl with low self esteem still runs around and I will be triggered when someone criticizes what I am doing. I know now that it takes discipline and understanding within myself to keep her feeling comforted.  

The bottom line is that 100% of people are not going to agree all the time with what I am doing. My three choices are to take their comments as a personal assault and crawl in a hole. I could take it as a declaration of war and become angry and destructive to myself and others or I can take it for what it is. Not all people will agree with me and my choices. I don't have to let that little girl inside feel she is "not good enough" when others have their own opinions. 

Why self esteem as a niche? Well I believe strongly that how we feel about ourselves can sabotage anything that we want to be successful at.  This includes jobs, relationships and will completely halt any ability to manifest or create.  I am here to tell you that if you want to stop this pattern I can help. I want others to feel the success that I have felt in the last few years. I want others to have the courage to reach for a new vocation if that is what calls them. That little kid inside can be soothed and quieted. He/she can become a part of your journey and will be helpful to this process.  

If this resonates with you please share to all your social networks below. I want to help people no longer feel enslaved by their negative thoughts and not allow other's opinions to slow them down in creating their perfect life.  

Do you feel that child within crying with hurt and pain? Please contact me when you are ready to make shifts that will sooth and comfort to begin the healing process.  

Love and light, 

Mina  

How to use Thanksgiving to manifest in 3 easy steps.

Do you have Holiday traditions? Are there special recipes that are cooked once a year? Does the family get together and eat like it was their last meal? If you are like most people in the US the answer is yes, yes and heck yea!!  

We all know the story about the Pilgrims and Native Americans sitting down to a feast after a bountiful harvest. So why is that important today and why make that a holiday? I hear the answers loud and clear. Here in the south it would appear football is king that weekend. Roll Tide!! I just had to throw that in. Are you ready to manifest your deepest desires? Here are three ways to begin that process and what better time than this week to start? 

Make a list of specific things to manifest this year.  

We all say I want more money or a better job. I want a new relationship or I  want a better relationship with family.  I want a vacation this year. This is a good start. The more specific the better. Do yo want to go to Disney World or do you want a specific type of job? What are the character traits you want in a new relationship? I suggest that you list only one or two things for the year so you can be focused and clear. Overwhelm causes apathy and an inability to focus which blocks the manifestation process.  

For each item on your list get specific about why you want this thing.  

How will having or doing this thing make your life better? If you can't answer the question of why then manifestation will get stuck right here. Will it give you a sense of freedom? Will it eleviate fear? Will it give you a sense of well being? If you have the answer to those questions write them down next to each thing on your list.   The more specific you are the better. 

On Thanksgiving Day write down what you will feel when those things manifest and then answer this question. What am I grateful for today that already makes me feel this way? 

Why is this important? Because the Universe responds positively only to positive vibrations. What you focus on expands. If you focus on a LACK of money then a lack of money will be the only thing you manifest. If you focus on all the good things your money has done for you such as putting a roof over your head or turkey in your belly then more of the same will follow.  Do you say thanks and really mean it when you find a dollar on the street? Although these actions seem small they are essential to the process of manifesting. 

How will you use this information to your advantage this week? I would love to hear from you! Please have a safe and wonderful holiday!! 

Love and Light  

Mina

 Would you like a free session? In just 30-45 minutes you will make a spiritual breakthrough with me at your side for free. Please contact me to get yours now! The holidays are the perfect time to begin your journey of reaching your goals for 2016!

I am in awe of the power of the Universe aren't you? The mighty Colorado river created this Canyon. What can the Universe do for you?